When it comes to divorce, who gets to keep the friends?

As we all know, divorcing is all about splitting up. Splitting up time with the children, marital assets, pensions… But one part of the split that is less often discussed is the splitting up of shared friends. When it comes to divorce, who gets to keep which friends?

Of course, it does not have to be that way. There is no reason why friends would need to choose who to align with, as they are not part of the marital relationship. But in practice, this is usually a very sore point for divorcing couples, who feel a lack of allegiance is a form a betrayal.

This emanates from the overwhelming sense of vulnerability and loneliness that comes during these types of life transitions. When we feel unsupported and everything is changing around us, we need the people we love to hold steady and be there for us.

All couples have two categories of friends: those that are mostly or exclusively theirs, and those they share. The ones that are truly yours will naturally stay by your side and usually stop seeing your soon-to-be-ex.

The problems arise when it comes to friends you have in common. In this article, I present my three key learnings with regards to managing the impact of divorce on this latter category, the shared friendships. These tips are intended for the divorcing individuals, but they can also be good guidance for friends who are trying to manage this delicate situation.

Read full article on the Divorced Parents website