The C.I.C. rule for effective communication during divorce conflict

Here is my top tip on how to handle a conversation in the context of divorce conflict. If you've got an ex who is bombarding you with messages or sending you nasty emails and voicemails, this is the best way to disarm them and to make sure that the exchanges you have with them actually lead to something useful.

This principle relies  around three letters: C. I. C.

• The first C stands for Concise. Keep your responses short and remove any unnecessary points.
• The I stands for Informative. By sticking to what actually needs to be discussed and avoiding emotional arguments, you are keeping the conversation factual and refocusing it on its original intent. 
• The second C is for Civil. By taking the high road you are liberating yourself from the anger the other is trying to trigger in you, and you are removing opportunities for defensive responses from the other person.

I strongly recommend you draft your response first, then let it rest before sending it. This will help you review it when you are less emotional and allow you to ensure you have applied the C.I.C rule. And keep in mind that not all messages deserve a response. If there is nothing to actually discuss, it is also fine to leave it unanswered. 

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