How to tell your spouse you want a divorce

Published on The Divorce Magazine website on 20 December 2023

Think back to some of the most important conversations you’ve had in your life. How many have there been? For most people, the answer is just a handful. There is no doubt that the conversation you have with your spouse informing them that you want a divorce will make it to the list as well. And like all important matters, it requires some preparation and thought.

The manner in which you choose to begin the divorce process is significant in that it sets the tone for the entire divorce, and for your relationship with your ex afterwards. Some people opt for an aggressive approach, filing for divorce without informing their spouse and creating an element of surprise. Others choose to begin their post-marriage story with a collaborative and amicable approach. Unless they are in an extreme situation, such as domestic abuse, I always recommend to my clients to have an honest and respectful conversation with their spouse at this stage. Because less conflict means a less costly divorce and a better outcome for everyone.

My recommended approach to having “the conversation” revolves around 3 pillars which conveniently spell out “GPS”.

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